Networking tips for introverts (like me!)

Earlier this week I found myself driving across town to a women’s business networking event. The speaker was very knowledgeable, the meal was tasty and I learned a few things. However, I rushed out of there when it ended to start my long drive back home late on a weekday night. Altogether the event was nice enough, the organizer and speaker were nice enough, but I didn’t get much out of it. It wasn’t because of the far off location or the people, but instead because I broke my own rules.

Let me back up a few steps. I easily classify myself as a textbook introvert. Although very outgoing and confident most days, I have to charge myself up to be around groups of people. I feel drained after engagements, and quiet moments of solitude help me relax and re-center. Being around large crowds is usually avoided. My comfort zone is in a cozy spot at home or in a coffee shop, working through my laptop on whatever digital projects of the moment. So when I made it a professional goal this year to get out and network more, I knew it would have to be an intentional effort. If I didn’t apply some sort of structure, then I would back out of every invitation. I would retreat when I knew getting out and mingling was good for me and my business.

So what I have created is my own little game of making the most out of networking opportunities. Very simply, when I attend an in-person networking event, I make it a rule to meet and connect with 5 people. I must have an actual mini conversation with them, learn their names and something about them, whether it is business related or something personal. You might be thinking “that’s it??”. Yep that is it. Though it is very simply stated, the task itself is daunting.

At every single one of these events, I usually attend alone and don’t know a single person when I first walk into the space. My process is to first meet the organizer of the event and thank them for the invitation. Wherever I find a seat, I make sure to chat with the people on either side of me. If you are keeping count, that already makes 3 people I’ve connected with. If there are any breakout activities, I am able to meet at least 2 more people easily. That brings the total count to 5 new people that I have met and hopefully had some meaningful engagement with. Normally I can focus so much on this rule that I get out of my own head about how I look or sound or something else that causes me to retreat inward.

When I attended the event this week, it was this rule that I broke. I didn’t focus on the reason I was there, which was to meet new people. I barely chatted with 2 ladies and felt myself easing out the door when I could have been mingling around the room. I took the easy way out, when I paid money to do exactly what I was avoiding. When I arrived back home, my hubby asked whether the time was well spent. I spiraled into a conversation about 10,000 inconsequential other things, when really I was feeling like I wasted my time that night. After giving myself a moment to breathe and truly reflect, I took ownership of my failed action in order to learn some lessons from it. I don’t know who was in the room that night. It could have been my next client or business collaboration. It could have been someone to inspire or gain inspiration from. Since I ran away without meeting anyone, I will never know.

Regardless of my lack of follow-through with my own efforts this week, I still want you to give this little networking game a try. The next time you have to attend an event where you put yourself out there for business or career reasons, keep count in your head if you are able to connect with 5 new people. Follow my process for how to identify the first 3 and go from there. You might be surprised how you feel at the conclusion of the outing. This tactic tends to shrink the room from a huge intimidating event of scary strangers, to something that is more manageable and full of possibilities. If it works for you, I’d like to hear about it. If you have some better strategies, definitely share them so I can give them a try too.